Don't get me wrong -
(By Michael Veitch, comedian and entertainer)

"Now, don't get me wrong, Vin," said Col as the two mates sat waiting for lunch, "I'm not a racist but I'm telling you, multiculturalism just doesn't work. I mean what's it ever done for us?"

"Nothin', that's what," replied Vin. Agreeing with Col was usually the easiest solution. "Exactly," said Col who was on a bit of a roll. "All it does is confuse people."

"Yeah, confuse people," said Vin. Then, after a moment of thought, "How?"

"Well you think about it", said Col, sipping his Guinness. "In the old days, before all this multiculturalism took over the place, you only had two places to go for lunch, the milk bar and the pub. Nowadays, there's the Indian place across the road, Papa Jim's Greek deli, the Chinese round the corner and the Italian takeaway next door. Much too confusing. Take me back to the days when all you could get was a good old Aussie steak sandwich on two bits of white bread, that's what I say."

"Didn't know you liked steak sandwiches, Col," said Vin. "Well, I don't, but that's not the point. The point is if I wanted one I couldn't find one. Now you take ... Fish and chip shop next to the Post Office, they do them".

"Yeah, well alright, maybe the fish and chip..." "They do great souvlakis too and he's got these fantastic little Lebanese sweets (you gotta taste them) they're like little pastry things all covered in sugar with.."

"Alright, alright, maybe the food's a bit more interesting," conceded Col. "But apart from that what else has multiculturalism given us?"

"Nothing mate, you're absolutely right," agreed Vin. "By the way, are you going to the game on Saturday?" he asked, happy to change the subject. "Wouldn't miss it," said Col.

"Silvagni and Koutoufides are playing. Greatest centre half forward ever, if you ask me. Should be fantastic. Gee I tell you what, that mixed grill is taking forever."

"Tell me about it", said Vin. Then after a pause, "What say we go next door for a curry Laksa?" "Yeah, come on".

The Wogboy

That talisman for racism in the old British Empire has lost much of its lustre these days.

The term 'wog' has degenerated into not much more than a joke, compliments of Nick Giannopolous and some of his showbiz mates, who have turned the epithet into some of the best humor to come out of modern Australia.

A new film The Wogboy was co-written, co-produced and stars the Melbourne comedian.

The film is Nick's debut in feature films after more than a decade writing, producing and performing in the long running stage shows Wogs Out Of Work, Acropolis Now - Live On Stage, Wog-a-rama and Wogboys and the equally successful television sitcom Acropolis Now.

Nick hated being called a wog when he was young and like so many things in life this early adversity spurred him to the giddy heights of what he has achieved.

As for the word itself, it is variously supposed to be short for golliwog or an acronym for Western Oriental Gentleman or Worthy Oriental Gentleman (the most probable origin.)

It was coined by the "pukka" British to denote their superiority over the darker races and eventually even lighter races with the exceptions of the Americans and the northern Europeans.

Funnily enough the word never really caught on outside Britain, except in Australia and perhaps New Zealand.

But Australia, mainly through Nick, has just about laughed the word out of polite society.

Even impolite society may be starting to think the word is old fashioned. Except for a laugh, of course.